Are You a Perfectionist? If so, how does it affect your relationships?

Wagele cartoon from The Enneagram of Parenting

Wagele cartoon from The Enneagram of Parenting

You might be a 1-Perfectionist if you agree with most of these statements from Are You My Type, Am I Yours? Relationships Made Easy Through the Enneagram:

  • I demonstrate my love through effort and hard work.
  • I like to have everything orderly and in its place.
  • Completing a task gives me great pleasure.
  • I frequently do more than my fair share.
  • People who are sloppy about their work irritate me.
  • I don’t like being judgmental, but it is hard not to be.
  • I tend to be serious and worry a lot.
  • You can always rely on me.
  • I am so used to struggling to better myself, I tend to discount whatever comes easily to me.
  • In order to avoid criticism from myself and others, I try to do everything correctly.
  • When others don’t meet my expectations or do their part, I feel disappointed or offended.
  • I try hard not to let my jealous or angry feelings show when I have them.
  • I feel strongly about my principles and beliefs.
  • I carefully plan my day to be sure I get everything done.
  • I have trouble forgiving when I have been wronged.
  • I constantly look for ways to be a better person.
  • I’m less likely to feel critical when I see people are trying to reform.

Things Ones would never dream of doing:

  • letting their spouse wear a sweatshirt to their twenty-fifth school reunion
  • not checking to see if they got back the correct change
  • telling guests to bring all the food and drinks to their party, since they’re planning to be tied up at the beach all day
  • not lifting a finger to help when visiting their fiancé as he recovers from surgery
  • slurping their drink with their straw at a power business lunch
  • taking it in stride when the meal they cooked for their in-laws or boss burns

How to get along with Ones

  • Appreciate their ethics, high standards, and the steadiness and security they bring to your relationship.
  • Show them you are a trustworthy and loyal partner.
  • Praise them for their concern for others and for being helpful.
  • Show you appreciate them by giving them cards, gifts, or hugs.
  • Admit mistakes. Ones love it when people feel remorse.
  • When in conflict, show them you’re looking for a way to resolve the matter constructively.
  • Always use your best manners.
  • If necessary, tell them praise and encouragement will get better results from you than criticism.

Keep in mind that Ones, especially feeling types, pick up the slightest negative remarks—ones others would not even be aware of.

Are You My Type, Am I Yours? follows The Enneagram Made Easy. It includes hints for every type with every other type, subtypes, how to get along using the 8 MBTIR preferences, lookalikes, many Wagele cartoons, and much more. See for reviews.



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